Wednesday, April 22, 2020

gather round, it's story time

one time, like 4-5 years ago I applied for a job at Hedley & Bennet, the colorful ampersand apron company headquartered in the arts district, where there's a zipline running through the warehouse office.

I had completed the first part of the application - making a one minute video and uploading it to youtube. I spent two days making a sweet graphic video that was awesome. I even made a little 'HB' cake pictured above for one of the slides and told them I'd bring it to them if they wanted.
It was met with enthusiasm and they asked me to come interview.

The interview was with a woman, their hr manager. It went incredibly well, we talked for an hour and it was all great and I've never felt more confident about an interview, etc.

she popped out of the room and came back with a packet. I was to complete this 200 question personality test, she leaves room.

she comes back in, gives me a second different (but same) 80 question personality test.

then a series of oddly basic "IQ" worksheets* where the woman sat in the room and timed me on her phone.
*like, drawing shapes

I was there for four hours.

the woman hugged me on the way out, told me she was excited, that I was perfect for the job, and that I'd be hearing from her very soon about next steps.

and then, never again.
ghosted my every message/email/phone call.
alas, I am less desirable on paper, for a FUN company.
or perhaps I matched my shapes wrong.

I started baking at Lodge later that year, so it all worked out as it should have
and I went back to the kitchen, where I rarely wear aprons.


just call me 'unprofessional slob with undesirable personality'

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