Monday, March 23, 2020

wow ............?

what in the heck

everything is so strange and eerie and sad and frustrating. 

i'm not certain what brought me here tonight
but I do know that this quarantine is making me face myself 

it's very easy to be detached from yourself when you work so dang hard most of the day. pouring yourself into your work is a great distraction from actually looking at yourself. asking the hard questions, making the choice to rise to the challenge

and now I have this time, all this extra time that comes with the constant uncomfortable weirdness in the air. 
I want to know what to do. I want to know what project to start with. intense indecision coupled with endless distractions coupled with harsh self-criticism is not ideal. 

anyway. the nostalgia has been running high,
past trips and meals and good times, I've been looking at photos, sad happy, happy sad, trying to remember it all, relive the good stuff, tell myself there is so much more good stuff to come, eventually.

I baked at home for the first time in well over 2 years. (I would always always prefer baking at work)
I made the Loose Tea Yogurt Cake from Molly Baz, a solid lovely recipe. I knocked the sugar down to 200g, I wanna try it with coconut oil and olive oil. comes together so quickly, I was barely even frustrated making it in my apartment kitchen.
work/bakery baking and home/apt baking feel so different, and you know what, this was nice.

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